How Could I Ever Know
by perplexing platypus
Summary: Just a collection of random songfics I wrote for Twilight. Please R&R!
1. How Could I Ever Know

**So, I was having a major writer's block on my other story and I suddenly heard this song on my ipod. It was a burst of inspiration and this is what it produced…**

_How could I know I would have to leave you?  
How could I know I would hurt you so?_

It had been three months…three months since that dreadful day. I was no good for her. Everyday she was with me I put her in mortal danger. I would never be able to forgive myself if anything happened to her. That is why I had to say those words. Those deceitful words that had torn us both apart.

"_**Don't. Don't do this."**_ My angel had pleaded.

"_**You're no good for me, Bella."**_

And it was true. She was a human, and I was a…a monster. A creature that wanted her blood almost as much as her warmth and love.

_You were the one I was born to love!  
Oh, how could I ever know?  
How could I ever know?_

It had taken all my strength to say those things to her. I loved her so much. Too much for her own good. I loved the way her cheeks flushed when I said her name, the way her heart sped when I touched her, the way her beautiful eyes sparkled when they saw through my riddles. But I would never again watch her trip on the stairs and fall into my arms. She was my soul mate…and yet I had to let her go.

_How can I say to go on without me?  
How, when I know you still need me so?  
How can I say not to dream about me?  
How could I ever know?  
How could I ever know?_

I knew it would be hard for her to take. I hoped that if she had thought that I had moved on, it would be easier. A clean break. Unlike me…I would never forget. I could never move on. My life was incomplete without Bella. My heart, love, reason for existence had vanished from my life with that one conversation. She was my life, but now her life was in the hands of others. Others that she would someday marry and live a normal life with, free from me, and hopefully soon, all memories of me.

_Forgive me.  
Can you forgive me  
And hold me in your heart,  
And find some new way to love me  
Now that we're apart?  
_

Or maybe she would never forget me. Maybe I had gone too far and she had been left so broken that she couldn't heal. But I couldn't think like that. I couldn't heal her. I would only break her more with my existence. The odds were always stacked against us. Our relationship could only end in death. I just hoped that someday she would be able to remember our days together with fondness and move on.

_How could I know I would never hold you?  
Never again in this world, but oh,  
Sure as you breathe, I am there inside you,  
How could I ever know?  
How could I ever know?_

Now I was doomed to live an eternal life of brokenness. There would never be another Bella. There would never be anyone so soft to touch, whose lips felt so right brushed against mine. I would never feel that happiness again. But I knew this was a sacrifice that I had to make. She would always be with me. In every thought, every moment, every breath. And deep down I knew that I would always be a part of her. She may move on, but her life was changed because of me. We were one package that was now split in half for eternity.

**This was my first songfic so please review!!**

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	2. Once Upon A Dream

**I really enjoyed writing my last songfic, so I thought I would try again. This song was just so beautiful, and it was a perfect example of how Bella felt for Edward. Enjoy!**

I remember that day like it was yesterday. The meadow was in lovely bloom, the trees were towering in majestic tranquility, and the clouds overhead made vague shapes in the bright sky. How could I forget it?

_When this all began,  
We knew there'd be a price..._

But it was no use thinking about those days. It just tore deeper into my heart. Edward was gone, and he wasn't going to come back. He didn't love me…I was no good for him. And yet here I was, flying to Italy to save him. Just the thought of him hurt me so much. When Edward had left, he had taken away a part of my heart. A part I would never get back.

_Once upon a dream,  
I was lost in love's embrace.  
There I found a perfect place,  
Once upon a dream._

We were walking down the long, dark hallways. Edward held me as tight as ever. Almost like he used to. I could feel his cool breath on the nape of my neck, his lips brushed the top of my head. Although I knew it was all a lie, my heart melted and I felt content. This is where I belonged, in his arms.

_Once there was a time,  
Like no other time before,  
Hope was still an open door,  
Once upon a dream._

Although we were in grave danger, I couldn't help but remember all the times I had spent with Edward. We used to be so happy, so in love. Well, I still was, whether he knew it or not. That summer together was the best time of my life. Everything in the world felt right and in place. I didn't even think about the risks involved in our relationship. For once, it felt like there might be hope for us. That was, until my birthday…

_  
And I was unafraid,  
The dream was so exciting!  
But now I see it fade...  
And I am here alone!  
_

Even then, I forgave Jasper. He couldn't control himself and I understood that. That day didn't change anything to me. I knew that nothing would ever happen to me while I was with Edward. He wouldn't allow it. And yet that day seemed to change Edwards mind. He began to isolate himself from me. His smile was strained, his brow always furrowed in concentration. And then, just like I always thought would happen, he left. I always knew he was too good to be true. Everyday I would wake up and look into his eyes, thinking I was still dreaming. But now my dream was over and he was gone. Now my dreams held only nightmares.

_  
Once upon a dream,  
You were heaven-sent to me,  
Was it never meant to be?  
Was it just a dream?  
_

I felt like I had been asleep for days. The last thing I remembered was jumping off the cliff, drowning, hearing Edward's sweet velvet voice one last time. I opened my eyes and my breath caught in my throat. There was an angel next to me. I couldn't believe it. I had died. Poor Charlie, Jake… But then I remembered. I was alive, back from Italy and Edward was still here. He stared at me with such a worried look that it seemed he actually cared for me. It was all so confusing.

_Could we begin again...  
Once upon a dream._

He explained everything to me. I couldn't believe that he loved me, after everything he had said. And yet, it all made sense. All he wanted was me, and I wanted him. I felt complete again. He had brought my heart back. Everything would be alright. My beautiful dream would never vanish again.

**Please Review!! I would really like to know both what you liked and disliked!**


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